Help From Friends

Before

I have had an ongoing problem with my front door. It's the result of poor design. The roof slopes over the entrance which means all precipitation including snow ends up dumping right in front of the door. I asked a carpenter friend to help out by coming up with a simple solution to extend the overhang to 3 feet in front of the entrance door. He did. It works. Couldn't have done it myself.

After

It took the 3 of us about 7 hours from start to finish. I will need to paint and touch up but that won't happen until after the siding goes up. Cost: about $600.00

What Not To Do

Some time ago, I worked with a friend to lay some tile on my small bathroom floor. It turned out great! Made a big difference. The next day we walked into the bathroom to inspect the finished product. To my horror, it all cracked! Turns out the floor was slightly spongy - not enough to really notice. You can't do that with tile. The floor has to be absolutely rigid. (Makes sense after the fact.) I didn't know. I was catatonic. We had to pull it all out, add support to the floor and relay the tile. I tried to organize the tile to put it back in the original order. Glue got on top of most of the tiles. Not sure how I'm going to get it off. At least its solid now.

I'm now resigned to the idea that I may have to do everything twice. It's painful to think of having to tear down something I just built, but that may be the price I have to pay.

Moving Forward

Completed a milestone today! I finished turning my shack into a decent, orderly place to store my stuff. In order to get here I had to clean it out first, which means I had to go through practically everything I own. That was hard. Then I started building shelves. Got better at that as I went along. Then I had to start packing it again in order to make room in the house to start the real construction.

Tomorrow I should finish up packing it. Got to cram it as efficiently as possible. Then I'll go on to start working on the house.

Slow Progress

Slowly and painfully, I go on. I've gone through about 85% of my stuff. Now I need to rearrange it somewhere. As I begin work on each room, I need to move the contents somewhere to free up construction access. So, the last few days I've been working on making shelves in the shack to more efficiently hold stuff. Got my drill and saw out. Making them out of 2x4s. Slow and crude, but functional. When that's done, I'll pack it and start working on the music room.

A Little History

My house is not ordinary. It came from an uncommon start. My neighbor, having lived across the street all her life told me all about it. When the old mine shut down, the owners told the miners they could take haul their shacks off the mountain and do what they pleased with them. My lot, purchased by one of those miners was prepared for two of those cabins. The old man built a foundation and did a good job of cobbling together those cabins into a small house. My neighbor says she has photos somewhere of a wedding on the lawn in the 50's.

Next, a couple of young meth-heads bought the place and tried to add onto the house with little more ability than I have. The result is a sub-standard dwelling. A hovel. Then I came along. With little more than good intentions, I dumped all my crap in there and moved out after just a short time to live with my new girlfriend. It's been sitting empty now for years. Mice moved in. Followed by cats. Spiders love it too. Mix in the fits and starts of construction and you get what you see now: a filthy hovel.

Why is this so hard?

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

1. Good: I've gone through a lot of stuff, made several truckloads of stuff to the dump, given a lot of stuff away that I hope will be appreciated by others, and found some letters and mementos that made me smile.
2. Bad: While pulling everything out in the open to sort, we were pummeled by rain and hail storms the last few days. Some books and things I value and have carried and sheltered for years got wet. I haven't had the heart to find out to what extent. Also, I gave away some things that I regret; all my artist and architect materials. Gone.
3. Ugly: Encountering images of myself in boxes and piles of papers. Me in broken relationships. Me in faltering careers. Me in a lost and lonely universe. Is it resolution I lack? I have a tendency to avoid unpleasant things. I turn my head and look for distractions instead of the gentle accommodation of inevitable change. As a result, the things I can't face sit there in a box and wait.

I resolve to resolve more. Just to take some time to say to myself, that part of my life is over. It's okay. It's okay.

Taking longer than I thought

The idea was to take a week to go through everything I own and get rid of as much stuff as possible. It's taking longer that I thought.

I've had some great help from my friend Carolina. But it looks like it'll take at least another week.

There are moments when this is absolutely torturous.

Images of my progress

Tough day

Today was hard.

It's bad enough having to cleanup a space that has become the domain of semi-feral cats. Cat detritus. Cats fighting, fucking, and farting and leaving signs. They used some of my good coats as shredding posts. Then there is the smell. I thought I liked cats.

But there is more.

I had to go through boxes of stuff. My stuff. From the past. And it's just the beginning. I had a hard realization today that this is more than just cleanup or creating a space for myself. I'm having to face psychological complexity. Face myself. Face my defects. Face my past.

I have always avoided facing unpleasant things. I wrestled with that today.

But, the day is done. I made a dent. Got rid of some stuff.

Tonight, gonna drink some beer. Maybe have some Ben and Jerry's. Watch a movie.

Where to start?

OK. Make a list.

First on the list? Cleanup.

When I bought this place, I dumped the accumulation of decades of stuff into it. This week I'm going through everything I own and toss.

This could be painful ...